Article by Maureen Pisani
As we approach another holiday season, we are inundated by commercials for ideas of gifts we are going to give to loved ones, friends, colleagues, and clients. However, most of us are in ‘giving-mode’ all year round. ‘Givers’ rarely think of the gift they are going to give themselves! Those of us who identify as ‘givers’ find it incredibly difficult to be on the other end of the equation. So…hold tight as we venture into the unknown world of receiving!
There are several reasons why receiving is important and essential for health, peace of mind, quality of life…for us! We are usually so focused on the giving-of-gifts project that taking care of ourselves is pushed down on the list, if not removed completely! We see it as a selfless act to focus on everyone else.
Jim Rohn stated: “Giving is better than receiving, because giving starts the receiving process.” I’m not asking you to not gift, but to think of the entire cycle. When you give relentlessly, you run the risk of giving to the point of exhaustion, of complete depletion. Imagine how your life would be if you gave and received too. You know that you give because you love and you plan to continue giving, right? Well, wouldn’t it stand to reason that to continue giving, you have to periodically replenish your reservoir? Absolutely! If seeing ‘receiving’ as ‘replenishing your reservoirs’ helps you receive…so be it!
The secret here, is that for you to achieve long term success, there needs to be a flow of energy. Just as Eckhart Tolle stated, “You cannot receive what you don’t give. Outflow determines inflow,” replenishing and receiving are essential for you to succeed to the level you wish.
So…how does one receive? Does one receive only from others, or can one self-replenish?
The answer is yes to both questions! Bring up a memory of when you gifted someone and how their receiving made you so incredibly happy. Got it? Good. Your resistance to receive prevents all the people who would love to give you all that joy. Think about receiving from that perspective and it will transform how you feel about the entire exchange of gifts—be they items or actions.
The most impactful part of receiving is prioritizing yourself! Here are a few personal practices that can impact your every day, how you see yourself, and transform your quality of life. They are all easy and quick patterns you are completely in charge of and by implementing these, you will gift yourself a better day, every day!
As you’re going through your day and you notice that your self-talk is negative, take a moment and think to yourself “Oh! What I meant to say was…” and then own what you just thought of in a positive perspective.
Your internal self-identity is based off of that perspective. If you delayed self-forgiveness, you functioned from a place where you inadvertently think that you deserve bad outcomes in life. I highly recommend taking a few minutes periodically to assess and gauge what you feel guilty about. There are countless memories inside you that processing now that might offer you the possibility of allowing and receiving self-forgiveness. This cleansing of the slate not only relieves the soul but lightens the mental load. Knowing how understanding, compassionate and loving you are to others…how about gifting a little of that to yourself?
You know all of your habits—both the productive ones and the detrimental ones. As you’re living life and you notice that you’re in the process of launching a bad habit, stop and think to yourself, “Do I really want to hurt myself in this way?” Here, you have choices. Either you just stop that habit completely and implement a positive habit, or you can change or minimize aspects of that bad pattern. You are in charge of you and your behavior, so if exchanging portions of the bad habit at a time is easier for you, stick with it. In a short while, that old negative behavior is replaced with a beneficial behavior you in which can be proud.
Sometimes, it’s your perspective that needs to be upgraded. Your mental point of view determines your thinking, which determines your decisions and actions. If your perspective is negative, then the entire process will result in negative behavior. You know how you think, what you think of yourself, and if you’ve been your worst critic, your outcomes might not have been the best.
Imagine how your life would transform if you prioritized yourself and implemented beneficial behaviors that helped you feel and be better! Imagine for just a few moments…what if you included self-care, positive self-talk, self-forgiveness, self-acceptance, and self-love daily? Take a few moments and visualize it. Did you notice the internal change that just occurred? Did you have the “if only” comment resonate through every cell?
Knowing that you felt that right now because you visualized it for just a few moments, can you imagine how incredible your day-to-day life would improve if you only gifted yourself 11 percent of this daily? How much better will your life be if you implemented 55 percent of this new way of thinking daily? What if you enjoyed the benefits and results so much that you gifted yourself 77 percent of this new way of living daily?
Voltaire said it the best: “God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.” The results of this way of thinking and being has created happy, healthy individuals who are thriving and loving life! As you feel replenished, appreciated, and loved (even if it’s a self-gift), your daily life is uplifted into your being optimistic, energetic, productive, successful, and incredibly loving! You become a magnet for lucrative opportunities, abundance, success, peace of mind, happiness, health, wealth, and love! I believe you deserve it all. I hope that you agree with me because this is my gift to you!